What's left when we run out of words like appalling, mind boggling, deplorable, despicable, unconscionable, unethical and immoral? That's a question I have been asking myself most of this afternoon after I received some very unsettling news.
My daughter-in-law, Casey, her mother has a friend who early last winter (2010) was diagnosed with a late stage cancer. I don't know the details other than it's a tumor on his spine. Since his diagnoses, Casey's mother has been this mans Florence Nightingale. She has gone way out of her way to take care of him, transporting him to all of his appointments, never leaving his side and being the kind of friend that everyone would want to have in his situation.
Again, I don't know many details of this mans cancer. I have met him twice, once at Christmas when he appeared frail, and again at Audrey's birthday party when he appeared much worse. I do know that in the six weeks or so between those meetings he had undergone chemotherapy. I also know that he has been preparing for surgery to try to remove the tumor, and also, apparently, there is a narrow window of opportunity for this surgery after the chemotherapy, but what I didn't know until today is that his surgery has been postponed- twice.
I didn't know about the first scheduled (and subsequently postponed) surgery, but I did know that this Tuesday (tomorrow) he was due to have the tumor removed, then Casey told me this afternoon that the surgery had been postponed. The more Casey told me about the ordeal of his surgery, the more outraged I became. Here is a person who is essentially a stranger to me yet I was coming to realize the severity of the emotional roller coaster he is on, and that his circumstances could happen to anyone. Here is the story:
It seems that this man has essentially made all of his final arrangements fearing he would not survive this surgery. His family from out of state had come to Maine to be at his side, Caseys mom had taken several days off of work and he spent all day today at the hospital having last minute tests and preregistering and whatever else he needed to do pre surgery tomorrow. He has been worried and scared for weeks and trying his best to have the strength just to go on with life until his surgery, however, when he got home from the tests etc today, he had a message stating that the doctor who was performing the surgery was not going to be able to make it. No explaination was given, just some voice saying that they would schedule him an appointment, in two weeks, to schedule another surgey. Now, if that is not bad enough, this is the second time this has happened and the narrow window of time between the chemo and the surgery is running out.
I think anyone in this situation would be outraged, if they had the strength to be. I don't think this man does. Luckily he does has Casey's mom to fight for him but since she is not family and does not have power of attorney etc she is limited as to what she can do.
If all of this isn't bad enough, the story went on to include that this man has never been comfortable with his doctor. He asked to see someone else and for what ever reason he wasn't able to. When the first surgery was postponed he asked that another surgeon perform it and he was told that "doctors don't clean up other doctors messes". I wonder, where, is that statement in their code of ethics? Unbelievable.
I realize that I have only heard what Casey has told me, and I realize that Casey has only heard what her mom has told her, and maybe there is a lot more to the story but regardless, the bottom line is that a man is dying, his window is expiring, and he appears to have a very callous doctor who is doing more harm than good. I know that Caseys mom will do all she can to help. I know that he is trying to find alternatives, resources and advocates to help him with with his issues and urgency. What I don't know is why in the world in the greatest country on Earth, something like this even happens. Plus, if it happens to someone in my very small circle of acquaintances I shudder to think of the actual magnitude of the problem. It's scary.
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