Last night made the third time that I did not stand Heidi up to go skating! That might not sound too astounding to the average person but for me to actually make a plan to leave the house, then follow through with it- well, lets just say it's uncharacteristic for me.
Every time we have plans to go to the rink, I am excited, followed by a period of considering reneging to return to my hermit kingdom, and finally remembering I actually like going skating with Heidi.
I am still quite disappointed that I am not good at skating. I look around at all the people who skate like I used to and I am jealous. I am self conscious too that I am older than 99% of the people there. Plus, I whine and complain a lot about my body aches and pains, about my skates not being broken in and I spend quite a lot of time in the resting position which means I am standing in the lobby with the wall propping me up while I watch the good skaters... and then there is the aftermath, nursing blisters and muscle pains and for some reason I always end up with a sore throat.
So when I put it that way I have to wonder, why do I want to keep going? Well, it actually feels good to get out of the house occasionally and dare I say, socialize? Plus, there is music playing and lit up disco balls and cute boys and even though my skating is humiliating I feel a little bit more alive when I am there. I find myself having ambition to try to learn to skate better, and going forces me to get dressed and be some place on time and those are things that aren't part of the daily routine for a recluse like me. Then there is the fact that Heidi says I smile a lot when I am skating. Seriously? Me? Wow!
The truth is though, that I smile a lot during the hour ride to the rink and the hour ride home too. For someone who really doesn't like many people, I actually like Heidi. We laugh a lot, we never shut up, we are pretty crude without ever being remorseful and even though she is a) 10 years younger than me, b) not a fan of British accents, c) doesn't like Disney World and d) is a republi- I can't even finish the word... we still get along! Hanging out with Heidi makes the overstretched ligaments and impending callouses on my ankles, worth it.
Some people/things are just like that - their companionship is actually worth the trouble. That's how I felt about work at the PD during my last few years, Rebecca made the unbearable torment of being there, worth it because we had each other as best friends. I feel that way about Sid, the massive shedding he leaves all over the house is worth it because I love him. Actually remaining in Maine over the God forsaken winter is worth it too because of Haley and Casey and Audrey and even the worst case of Aerosinusitis is worth it if it means I get to see Jenny- so the point is that it's not just the activity of going skating that makes me happy, it's hanging out with Heidi, too.
Oh, and the reason I always have a sore throat the next morning ... well it's not because I am ill from the night before, it's because I have gone hoarse from all of the story telling during the ride up and back :) Thanks Heidi, see you on the 13th?
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