So....It's February.

Normally I can go weeks with nary a thing to do besides be Audrey's Grammie, but this month is going to be a whole lot different.

Jenny and Xavier will be in New England from the 5th to the 16th (I think) and even though they will only be with me for a couple of days I have not even begun to prepare for their arrival. I can't just do a fly by cleaning before they get here- I have to do it thoroughly! Even if they don't care, I am going to care and I had better get started! That will use up at least 2 days so February is now reduced to 26 days. Actually 25 because I have already used today.

There is a Top Gear marathon on this coming weekend leading into their new season on Monday so those days are reserved for TV watching which reduces the month to 22 days. Plus, since I don't know which days Jenny and Xavier will be at my house, I am having to keep open the 12 days or so that they will at least be within driving distance, which reduces the month to 10 days.

I am also refusing all commitments for Sunday evenings in case I get a chance to go skating again, and that deletes another 4 days of February which makes the month only 6 days long. Of course I will need one full day for bill paying and mundane stuff like that, so now February is whittled down to 5 days.

Haleys 25th birthday is the 14th and I am not sure what to do for that but I may as well say it consumes 2 days, then my dads is the 17th and that will consume a day and Audreys 1st birthday is the 19th which will be at least a 2 day event. So basically by the 19th I am out of February days.

How will I cope with negative February 20 through negative February 28? If I am in the time negative will I have a fee like I do when my bank account is in the negative? If that is the case, then the additional negative days will be equal minus 35 plus the negative 8 I already have which will actually be minus 43.

Ok, so according to my calculations, my negative 8 days of February plus the 31 days of March that I am negative, still leaves me short 4 days by the time it is April. We are leaving for Disney World on April 3 so technically by February 20 I will have already been at Disney for a day. That is not acceptable.

For one thing, if on February 20 I am already going to be at Disney World for a day it would mean that sometime between now and then I would need to find time to pack and that would only put me further behind. Plus, everyone knows that the space time continuum can not mix Disney World days with negative days. It's similar to mixing matter and antimatter which we all know can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does. Ok, I stole that last sentence from an old Omni magazine or something off the NASA channel but the point is, that I shoulder a heavy burden.

There is but one other solution of how to account for (or not account for) my upcoming 43 negative days and that is to immediately go into hibernation after Audreys first birthday and awaken just in time to go to Disney World.

Aside from sparing the world the prior mentioned annihilation due to my negative time, this will also serve several other useful and positive purposes. I will have 43 days to get rested for Disney. I will have 43 days of spending no money and using no utilities which will leave me more money for Disney. I will also have 43 days of not caring if it snows and in 43 days I would certainly lose a few pounds which is always a benefit. The only problem I see is that I would have to pack tonight but it is not midnight yet so I could do it and not be further behind, or ahead of schedule.

I hope that this blog can prove to all who read it just how easily it is to turn a negative into a positive. I like to feel as though I am rather renowned for that. I like to take the cup that's half empty, dump it out, fill it back up again and then dump out half so that I can formulate my own statistically accurate portrayal of optimism versus defeatism. On that note, I just realized it is after midnight and now I don't have time to pack which means I am going to have to figure all of this out again, but when?

I should have known that nothing ever works out like it supposed to. Stupid optimism.