Directors and Builders and Negotiators, Oh My!

Everyday in my mailbox I have something notifying me of a potential if not guaranteed, once in a lifetime soul mate love match. Zoosk, Match.Com, Plentyoffish, E-Harmony, Christian-Military-Seniors-With-Dogs-That-Like-Disney-World, whatever- At least once a week I get something from each of them. I don't even look at the emails, they go straight to the trash.

Way, way, way back in the day I did try some internet dating sites, back when they were free anyway, but I myself have not had an active profile for at least 7 years. At least. Yet the notifications keep coming and the most bizarre part is that most of these sites I have never had a profile on, there-fore they can not possibly be matching me with anyone based on anything other than age and location. Again, whatever-

Now I am not going to say that no one ever finds their Prince Charming or whatever is appropriate via the internet. I know several friends that have met some great people and formed enduring relationships via online dating sites. I am just going to say that I have not been one of them and instead ended up with, oh, lets just say, some people who were not what I expected.

Lets take for instance the acclaimed poet who wrote a whole book on his deranged and psychotic pursuit of a woman who had a restraining order against him. My favorite part of the book was "I used to drink a beer, when I shed a tear, but now that you are here, I don't need no beer". Turned out the book was self published, he gave me an autographed copy, I changed my phone number.

Then there was another who I drove 250 miles to meet and when I arrived at the designated place he was on the phone with his wife, that sort of hurt. He explained that they were "separated" but the thing is, separated turned out to mean that she was at work and he was meeting me for lunch.

Another one of my favorites was a man who I was meeting at the Olive Garden and we exchanged vehicle information and were to be on the lookout for each other in the parking lot. I parked where I could be easily seen, yet he didn't even get out of his car to meet me. I had to walk over to him and say "Are you Mike?" at which he replied "Well, YAH........"

Then there was a guy I actually liked except for that after 2 consecutive dates he was emailing me completely broken that I had not called him on day 3. It didn't matter that I was working all night and parenting all day. Oh, he also lied about his age on his profile by 10 years!

The last one was a guy who only emailed, chatted or called me at certain times of the day. He was very friendly and nice to talk with but when I questioned him about his predictable communication schedule he freaked out and accused me of accusing him of being married, well, yah.........

Oh but my co-worker did stay amused trying to match up pictures on the dating sites with pictures in the sex offender registry. That was pretty scary- should be a law against not disclosing that sort of information! Anyway, that's why I don't bother anymore, it's just too much effort for too much let down. Give me something conventional (gasp did I just say that?) like meeting someone by random in the laundry mat or being hooked up by a mutual friend, those things worked pre internet, right?

Oh and as for the directors, builders, negotiators and explorers pictured, I am pretty sure none of them live in 04957 anyway.





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