No, I haven't fallen on the floor or fallen in the tub or fallen in the snow (well, OK I have but that's not the point). I haven't fallen off my rocker or wagon, or fallen too far behind or fallen in love, nor did I fall off of my Segway. What I have fallen into, is a rut.
My ruts run deep and sometimes it is quite a climb to get out of one of them. The one I am in now is like that. Sure, some times I manage to scale the wall of rut and I always appreciate when I am out of it, but I never seem to get more than one footstep away, so one step backwards and I am right back in it.
Once in the rut I usually stay there for a few days, sometimes longer. It depends on whether I have to build up the strength to claw my way out, or whether someone throws me a rope. Right now I am just contemplating what put me here.
Usually it is crystal clear what brought me to my rut, broken heart, loss of job, issues with family, stuff like that- but none of that is happening right now. I'm poor, but I am always poor. I am lonely, but I am always lonely. I have stuff to do that I don't feel like doing but I always have stuff to do that I don't feel like doing. Really, I can't think of any reason for my current rut except.......
I have not had a winter vacation this year! That has to be it. The photo above of Haley, Casey and I on the Segway tour at EPCOT, was in January 2009. In January 2010 I was in California for two weeks and in March 2010 I was in Texas for 7 days or so, but 2011 I have no sunny surprises waiting for me and looking out the window and not seeing white, makes all the difference.
Yes, I have Jenny and Xavier coming next month and Audrey's first birthday which will keep me rutless for a while and in April we are going to Disney for 9 days but that does not help the right here right now rut or the in between rut which is slated to run the entire month of March.
I need something thrilling! I need something inspiring! I at least need a fantasy! I need something/anything other than shoveling and watching it snow. Winter is just boring for me and boredom = rut, even though I have plenty I should be doing I am just too blah.
Eh. I think that is it for now. I am too unmotivated to continue. I think I am going to go snuggle Sid, watch some TV, maybe later wash my hair and tomorrow I may go to the dump! Yeah! Yeah......
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