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Sunday, January 16, 2011

The Mean Old Lady That Lives At The End Of The Street

The title, that's me alright.

The first year I lived here someone came by and asked if they could cut through my yard on their snowmobile to get to the river. Thinking this would be a once or twice thing, I said "sure".

I told my neighbor and he shook his head and rolled his eyes, but he didn't say anything.

As soon as the river froze I knew why my neighbor was doing that eye rolling thing.

It did not turn out to be a once or twice thing of cutting through my yard, but a 30 times a day, every day, all day and half the night thing. It became an access route from the person I had said "sure" to, plus all of his friends and family and strangers who followed their trail. It seemed to be everyone who lived down stream as far as Smithfield, that wanted to come to town and buy beer and then take it back home, was doing so via my yard.

I was still working nights and I was so frustrated at the constant zinging of snowmobiles going by and waking me up that I vowed I would never allow this again. That being said, I also didn't want to take on the drunken cronies and then come home some morning to nothing but embers of my former house so- I let it go for the rest of the season.

I was relieved when winter was over, but as soon as the river thawed I had people coming to ask me if they could cut through my property with their canoes. This time I was ready, and I said no, that I had asked my insurance company about this and the agent just about had an aneurysm. Even though that was a lie, I imagine if I had asked she would have been adamant that I didn't want that kind of liability.

I was prepared to use that same line in the coming winter but as it turned out, one day while I was driving down River Road, out of no where came a snowmobile right in front of my car and even though I slammed on the brakes, Sid fell off the seat and I hit the snowbank on the other side of the road, I ran over the snowmobile. I was petrified to look back and see a dead body. Fortunately by the time I got myself composed enough to look back, the guy formerly riding the snowmobile was up and moving so I knew he wasn't dead. He was however yelling and screaming and swearing and drawing a crowd that were all pointing fingers and screaming at me for the collision. Every time a new person joined the mob, the story was glorified and I think the last I heard I had been driving so fast that I broke the sound barrier. I was petrified of this angry mob as I waited in the locked car for the police. (note: I was doing under 25 in a 35MPH zone and the police report noted that my air bags did not deploy, for anyone who was wondering how fast a 4 cylinder Isuzu could really go)

The accident did quite a bit of damage to my car of which I only carried liability insurance on, to this day it has not been fixed. The guy on the snowmobile gave the wrong name to the police and he and his angry mob picked up the pieces of his snowmobile and he went on his merry way. I drove 1 MPH all the way home and was afraid to drive for a couple of days.

A week or so later the guy from the winter before came to ask me if he could use my yard to get to the river on his snowmobile again. This time I said, "No" and I explained that I had hit a snowmobile with my car last week and I was still so shaken that I didn't want to see or hear any snowmobiles ever again. He said, "Yes I know, that was my brother". With that, we both half smirked and half sneered but no snowmobiles were going through my yard. Until....

The neighborhood kids decided that I really did have a good yard to get from the river to the store so they started using it. My daughter-in-law intercepted some and told them to stay out of my yard, and then later I chased a few down in my still broken car to tell them the same thing but there is no way to adequately catch a snowmobile in a broken Isuzu so I put up no trespassing signs. The snowmobilers ran them over. I called the Wardens Service and they cut through my yard to get to the river but nothing else. Unfortunately the river thawed before I got the piano wire strung at neck height.

I have been keeping vigil on my yard this year and I could tell they were coming closer, and closer and closer every day- and the thing is, if they stay on the river there is A) nothing I can do about it and B) I DON'T CARE! I just don't want them in my yard! It is a liability issue, I don't like my scenic snow disturbed and it upsets Sid who is tied in the front yard! Plus, IT'S MY YARD!

Yesterday I noticed the footprints... they came from a snowmobile trail on the river, all the way through my yard, to the front yard and then the direction of town. I figure some smart ass is thinking that I said, "NO SNOWMOBILES" in my yard, I didn't say NO PEOPLE, however the no trespassing sign is still upright, for now.

I dunno. Sometimes I think it is a meager thing to gripe about and it's just the price I pay for living in such a wonderful location and having the river at my back door. Still, I just don't like it and it irritates me!

I have been thinking though that perhaps a toll booth would make it more tolerable. How much longer till spring?

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